The Wild Goat's Lair

NEW FIC OF THE NON-SPECIFIED TIME PERIOD: November 18, 2011

I Buggered That Prat JC

Rating: NC-17 for sexual situations, language (Jeremy/Richard)

Summary Richard and Jeremy fuck. In Lillihammer. In rhyme.

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( Monty Python Crossovers )( The Sentinel )( Star Wars: The Phantom Menace )( Stargate SG-1 )( Lord Of The Rings )( Lost )( Lord Of The Rings 'Real' Person Slash )( Lost/LOTR 'Real' Person Fiction )( Top Gear 'Real' Person Fiction )( Filk )( Original Fiction )

Title: I Buggered That Prat JC
Rating: NC-17 for sex and swearing
Pairing: Richard/Jeremy
Summary: Richard and Jeremy fuck. In Lillihammer. In rhyme.

Author's notes: My sincere apologies to the ghost of Robert W. Service for 'borrowing' The Cremation of Sam McGee. (Though, really, my version is more like The Ballad of Eskimo Nell. *snicker*)

( There are strange things done in the Midnight Sun )

Title: Trees (7/10)
Rating: PG-NC-17 for the series, NC-17 this instalment (for sexual situations)
Pairing: Billy/Dom AU (or AR if you prefer)
Disclaimer: I don't know these people, I don't own these people, I am not these people. This is all a product of my fevered imagination. Astrid belongs to ingve9 and myself. All other OC's are mine.
Summary: Billy and Dom enjoy the rest of their vacation.

Notes: The original tig on which this series is based (co-authored by Pip of acroamatica, pippinmctaggart, myself and ingve9) can be found here and is included in the Part 1 link below.

Many, many thanks to Otherwise for the beta. :D:D:D:D:D:D

To recap: In this universe Dom is half-human, half-uruisg (or urisk for English speakers), a kind of satyr-like brownie found in the highlands of Scotland. The story takes place in mid-May, 2002, in the Manchester area, about two weeks before they have to return to NZ for TTT pick-ups. After that Billy will rush off to film Master and Commander in Mexico and Dom will go to NY to film An Insomniac's Nightmare. Well, that's the plan, anyway....

[Part 1 (tig)][Part 2][Part 3a][Part 3b][Part 4][Part 5a][Part 5b][Part 6][Part 7]

( Come sit thee down upon this flowering bed... )

Disclaimer: Everything you are about to read is fiction. If you actually believe any of the following has any basis in reality, I have a lovely footbridge over Miles Canyon to sell you. ;D

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Written for 31 Days of TGS, December 2011:
( Day 6: Gen and Pre-Slash; James, Jeremy, Richard; G )
( Day 20: Rarepairs; Richard/Stig, PG-13 )
( Day 21: Threesomes and Moresomes; James/Richard/Sim, PG-13 )
( Day 23: Episode-Centric - Series 1 and 2; James/Jeremy, R )
( Day 28: Series 11 and 12, and Top Ground Gear Force; Jeremy/Richard, NC-17 )
Written for the (American) Thanksgiving Anon Meme, November 27, 2011, hosted by tommyboi:
( Sin From Your Lips, James/Jeremy, PG-13 )
Written for the Dribble/Drabble/Drouble Challenge on TGS, July15-17, 2011:
( Prompt: Bandana, Four Droubles, James/Jeremy/Richard, NC-17 )
( Prompt: Blue Skies, Drouble, James/Richard, PG )
Written for the Anon Porn Meme hosted by 47_trek_47 (March-April 2011):
( Jeremy/James/Richard, R )
( Jeremy/James/Richard, NC-17 )
( Jeremy/James, R )
( Mindy/James/Richard, rope bondage, NC-17 )
( Richard/James, voyeur!Jeremy, NC-17 )
( WARNING: Nonconsensual carsex, Jeremy/car, NC-17 )

( Tonight: We follow the latest car-shagging adventures of an Old Man, a Driving God, and a Blithering Idiot. )

Title: Back To Africa, part 3: Smouldering Reality
Author: aramirandme81 and capra_fera
Rating: NC-17 for sex and swearing, in either order. :D
Pairing: J/J, OT3
Word Count: 4204
Summary: Richard wants Jeremy and James. James and Jeremy want Richard. All three are clueless idiots.
Disclaimer: Some say that these are all real people, and that they have minds of their own. All we know is, the Stig is an alien and that everything below is what we call Fiction.

Notes: aramirandme81 wrote the part with the camel. I wrote the part without the camel the pr0n. :D

To be clear, everyone in this fic is based on a real person, apart from Jean-Claude and Sidi-Amar. Mohamed Haffaoui really does own a Sahara Tours company in Tamanrasset called Tanezrouft Voyages that arranges 4x4 trips, among other things. Even his camels exist. :D

Part 1: Heated Dreams Part 2: Kindled Awakening Part 3: Smouldering Reality

( Read more... )

Title: Back To Africa, part 2: Kindled Awakening
Author: aramirandme81 and capra_fera
Rating: R for language and sexual imagery
Pairing: J/J, OT3
Word Count: 2773
Summary: Richard wants Jeremy and James. James and Jeremy want Richard. All three are clueless idiots. Takes up where Heated Dreams left off.
Disclaimer: Some say that these are all real people, and that they have minds of their own. All we know is that the Stig is an alien and that everything below is what we call Fiction.

Notes:aramirandme81 wrote the first draft of this part, I beta'd it, then eventually she asked me to finish it. I did, and OtherWise beta'd it. Clear as mud?

Dedicated to all those who requested a sequel from aramirandme81, all those months ago. :D

Part 1: Heated Dreams Part 2: Kindled Awakening Part 3: Smouldering Reality

( Read more... )

Title: Back to Africa, part 1: Heated Dreams
Author: aramirandme81
Rating: PG
Pairing: OT3, implied Jeremy/James
Genre: Pre-slash.
Word Count: 666 (alright!)
Warning: ehm.. It started out as a Danish fic, have now been translated.
Summary: It’s hot in Africa.
Disclaimer: I own nothing Top Gear related, and the banging and shouting from my cellar are in no way related to Top Gear, how ever much the voices crying for help sound like the presenters of the show. No really.
Beta: capra_fera.
Dedication: For capra_fera, for asking me to writhe a TG fic in Danish so she could see if she could translate it. She could.

Part 1: Heated Dreams Part 2: Kindled Awakening Part 3: Smouldering Reality

( Read more... )

Rating: NC-17 for, well, rather explicit sex...and a very slight bit of role play with mild D/s.
Pairing: James/Sarah
Word count: 4957
Summary: Those gloves, that dress, and the 2010 BAFTAs.
Disclaimer: Yes, James May and Sarah Frater are real people. No, I don't know them. In other words, I made this all up.

Notes: This fic was inspired by this pic of James from this photo shoot, this dress and the Deftones cover of Duran Duran's The Chauffeur. I blame it all on evilmaniclaugh and her wonderful TG het. She's blaming it on the gloves. ;)

Beta services provided by bellap74. :D:D:D Any remaining errors are my own.

Since the dates haven't been announced yet, I've assumed that the 2010 BAFTA Television Awards will take place approximately at the same time of year and at the same venue as in 2009.

For your interest, Scarlatti's Sonata in E major can be heard here. Chopin's Prelude No. 24 in D minor can be heard here.

( The pictures are what capture her attention. )

( Tonight: Jeremy, Richard and James attempt to strengthen their heterosexualist credentials by being as 'blokish' as possible. )

Category: various
Rating: G- NC-17
Disclaimer: The characters of the SW Universe belong to George Lucas. I am not him.

Summary: tpm100 is a drabble community where each week a topic is posted and the members write a 100 word ficlet. No more, no less. Also included are various ficlets and other things that are too small to merit their own page.

( Merry Month of Masturbation 150 Word Challenge (Obi-wan/Qui-Gon, R) )
( Haiku (Obi-wan/Qui-Gon, R) )
( Master Yogie's 150 Words or Less Challenge (Obi-wan/Qui-Gon, R) )
( M_A Limerick challenge (Obi-wan/Qui-Gon, Qui-Gon/other, PG) )
( Ghosts (Obi-Wan, PG for violence) )
( Crossdressing (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon, Boss Nass/Female Gungan!Obi-Wan, PG) )
( Bath (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon, PG for the 'Naboo did happen' thing) )
( Worst Lube Ever (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon, PG) )
( Merry Month of Masturbation (Obi-Wan/Garen, PG) )
( Like A Virgin (Qui-Gon/other, R) )
( Chains (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon, PG) )
( Do you want to tell me something? (Hermione, Dex, PG) )
( Transport (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon, PG-13) )
( X-Mas Challenge (Amidala/Anakin, G) )
( Smut (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon, Bant, R) )
( Domesticity (Obi-Wan, PG) )
( Elements (Obi-Wan, G) )
( Word of the Day Challenge (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon, PG) )
( Nervous Breakdown (Ben Kenobi, PG) )
( Night (Darth Vader, PG) )
( Oil (Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, G) )
( Winter (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon, PG-13) )
( Dressing up (Obi-Wan, PG) )
( Song Lyrics (Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon, Aurra Sing, PG) )
( Diary (Darth Vader, Amidala, PG) )
( Space (Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, G) )
( Quotable Quotes (Darth Vader, The Emperor, PG-13) )
( Historical AU (AU!Obi-Wan, AU!Qui-Gon, PG) )

Category: Humour/parody
Rating: PG for naughty language, innuendo and the usual cocking about.
Pairing: Jeremy/Richard implied
Word Count: 1369
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: The Top Gear presenters, producer, director and crew work for the BBC, not for me. Therefore, please assume that everything you are about to read is all lies, no matter how frighteningly close to reality it might be. Monty Python's Flying Circus owns the 'And now, for something completely different...' sketches. No money was made off this, either.
Summary: The Top Gear boys cock about with Monty Python.

Notes: Many years ago, when The Phantom Menace came out (1999), I started my fic writing 'career' by adding TPM characters to Monty Python skits and scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Then I did something similar for each fandom I joined afterward. Now it's TG's turn. :D:D:D

( And now, for something completely different.... )

These were originally created for the topgearmacros community on LiveJournal. Just me being silly with Photoshop and the Motivator program. ;)

Rating: G-PG (They're pretty tame, actually. :D)

( My eyes! My eyes! )

Title: Trees (6/10)
Rating: PG-NC-17 for the series, NC-17 this instalment (for sexual situations)
Pairing: Billy/Dom AU (Billy/Domhínithe)
Warnings: I guess I'd better warn for interspecies sex, eh?
Disclaimer: I don't know these people, I don't own these people, I am not these people. This is all a product of my fevered imagination. Astrid belongs to ingve9 and myself. All other OCs are mine.
Summary: Billy and Domhínithe get to know each other.
Word Count: 6975

Notes: The original tig (co-authored by Pip of acroamatica, pippinmctaggart, myself and ingve9) is now labeled as Part 1.

Many, many thanks to vensre for the beta. :D:D:D:D:D:D

For Steve.

To recap: In this universe Dom is half-human, half-uruisg (or urisk for English speakers), a kind of satyr-like brownie found in the highlands of Scotland. The story takes place in mid-May, 2002, in the Manchester area, about two weeks before they have to return to NZ for TTT pick-ups. After that Billy will rush off to film Master and Commander in Mexico and Dom will go to NY to film An Insomniac's Nightmare. Well, that's the plan, anyway....

[Part 1 (tig)][Part 2][Part 3a][Part 3b][Part 4][Part 5a][Part 5b][Part 6][Part 7][Part 8][Part 9][Part 10]

( Let's have a look at you, then. )

Well, as Geocities is closing down, I've decided that I'll be posting all my fic here. The Ministry of Silly Fic I think I will let lapse, however, as I've had no requests to add fic to it for years.

*hums Taps*

Apologies in advance to my flist when I start uploading my fic this summer....

Now I just have to find space for all my pics that isn't anywhere near photobucket....

( Tonight: Jeremy loses his voice, James loses an eye, and Richard loses his inhibitions. )

Disclaimer: Everything you are about to read is fiction. If you actually believe any of the following has any basis in reality, I have a lovely herd of Diplodocus to sell you. ;D

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Written for the 'Write What You Don't Normally Write' challenge on TGS (May 2010):
( No Bundle Of Joy (James/Jeremy, PG) )

Written for the Anon-porn Ship Battle on TGS (November, 2009):
( James/Jeremy/Sarah, NC-17 )
( James/Richard, PG )
( Cheating (James/Jeremy/Mindy, NC-17) )
( Coffee, Tea or Me? (James/Jeremy, R) )
Written for duckduck as a thank you:
( Out With the Old - James/Richard (James/piano), PG )
Written for cockingabout Fic Challenge:
( James/Jeremy, domestic, with appearance by Fusker, PG )
These were written for the Annoymous Porn Meme hosted by dracothelizard, starting on January 13, 2009:
( Jeremy/Richard Non-con hypnotism fic, NC-17 - WARNING! )
( James wanking while Jeremy watches, R )
( James/Richard/Mindy, NC-17 )
These were written for the recent drabbles-and-bits-of-art tag game in honour of topgearslash's third birthday.
( James, are you eating cat food?, Richard/James, PG )
( Jeremy/Sabine/Francie, where Francie owes Jeremy a treat, PG-13 )
( Kink Night, OT3, NC-17 )
( Silk, Richard/James, R )
( Sex Toys, James/Richard, PG-13 )
Written for the Fic/Art 'Ship Battle' on TGS, June 21, 2008
( Red Light Spells Danger, (James/Richard, BDSM, R) )
( Stuck on a desert island - who do you shag? (James/Richard, R) )
( 'I hate to be the voice of doom, but-', James/Richard or Jeremy/Richard...or possibly death, PG )

( Tonight: Richard is a tart, Jeremy is a domestic goddess, and James is a pervert. )

( Tonight: James outs the TG3, Jeremy outs his Mercedes, and Jamie Oliver outs himself. )

Hi all. Now that LJ is down for a bit, let the party begin. :D